Persuasive writing

We have been learning how to structure a piece of persuasive writing.  We learnt about stating our position in the introduction, putting our three reasons in the main part of our writing and then summing it up in the conclusion.

Here is my first attempt at a piece of persuasive writing:

Lunchtimes at kumara school see kids sitting around I think we should do science.

Firstly science is good for learning.

Secondly science will keep students entertained .

Lastly science is fun.

Please consider my request Kumara School would really appreciate if you will let us do science at rainy lunchtimes because it will entertain and we will learn and it is fun.

From Autumn

BAD DAY AT THE WATER SLIDE

Whoosh!  That is all I hear when I go down. I scream in fear  although I have been down before.  All of a sudden I look back and see my dad. Am I halfway there now? It gets faster and faster.  

‘Dad’ I shout ‘is it going fast?’

but dad said ‘it isn't’

‘argh’.

All of a sudden I drop in the pool. I got water up my nose. How would you feel?